中考英语作文范文及评析：提示作文2

【习作要求】

以"My Mother"为题，写一篇120字左右的短文。需包括以下要点：
(1) 妈妈的身材不高，稍胖，圆脸，长发。
(2) 妈妈是家庭主妇，每天起床很早，为全家人做饭。
(3) 早饭前做些家务，饭后送孩子上学。虽然她没有很多钱，却常给我们买好衣服和学习用品。
(4) 妈妈晚上睡得晚，她总有很多活要做。
(5) 妈妈勤劳，我爱妈妈。

【学生习作】 My Mother
My mother is not tall and short (1). She is a little fat. She has a round face and long hairs (2).

My mother is a housewife. She is very busy every day. She get to(3) up very early every morning. She gets up at about five thirty. After that she begins to cook for the family.

Before breakfast, she does some housework. After breakfast, she sends our children (4) to school. She always tells us study hard (5). She has not many (6) money, but she often buys us some nice clothes and school things.

My mother goes to bed very late every night. She always has a lot of work to be done. (7)

My mother is hard-working. I love her very much.
（1）如果说"她中等身材"，应该说： She is of medium height.
（2）hair是不可数名词，不能用复数形式。
（3）改为gets。主语是第三人称单数时，动词也应变为相应的三单形式。
（4）此处"我们孩子"是同位词组，"我们"与"孩子"之间是同位关系，应将其改成：us children。
（5）这里应使用动词不定式，即tell us to do something。
（6）money 为不可数名词，前面应用much修饰，而不能用many。
（7）这里的动词不定式to do的逻辑主语是she，它们之间是主动关系，所以动词不定式应用主动形式。

【名师点评】

作者以细腻的笔法描写了一位勤劳而又善良的母亲，全文充满了对母亲的感激之情，语言流畅，表达生动，很有教育意义。小作者文中存在如第2处第6处等名词方面的错误，以及第5处、第7处等动词不定式方面的错误，小作者写完之后要是能够认真检查，多修改几遍，这些错误是可以避免的。